Today the horsey ophthalmologist came out to sew her eyelid shut again. This time he only closed it about two-thirds of the way leaving her a little peek-hole near the tear duct part of her eye. She is making a tiny bit of tears but not enough to help her corneal ulcers heal. The big one that is left is actually healing no matter how bad I think it looks. We switched her to a more tolerable pain killer that won't have such an impact on her kidneys. I would hate to heal everything and destroy her kidneys with pain meds and then have to put her to sleep.
I have to have a new attitude about my horse now and it is to think about her only as a horse with an eye problem not this incredible problem that I STILL cannot spell without looking it up. I really don't want to know either. I just want it to be a thing of the past that other people's horses go through, not mine.
So, even though her ear doesn't move, her lip is a little crooked and droopy and her eye is sewn shut, I will look at the glass as half full. She will never be the halter mare that she once was and I will never breed her (passing on this gene). I am going to love her with all of her faults and quirks. Please keep praying that she leaves her lavage appliance alone so that we can get this healed.
I am encouraged by both her recovery and your strength whether you think you are strong or not, you are! I'm still praying and will not stop until this is 100% over with. Hang in there Nanette. I pray one day I get to meet your friend that is helping you out so much. I wish I could come and help too. Love you, J
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