a crystal ball.......

Looking into the future I am now wondering what kind of gear to ride in.  I have always used a low port curb bit with a copper roller but with the arthritis in her jaw bone joint, I don't think that this is a good choice for the future.

 I remember that right before this all happened, she wouldn't come straight over to get her bit in her mouth like she used to.  I had to follow her around in her stall until she put her head in the corner.  That was a sign that I didn't pick up.  Chewing on her hoof and on her water barrel was a little out of character for her too.  That was another sign.  I have never been able to touch her ears so that wouldn't have told me anything, although I can rub all over her ears now and she doesn't care. I remember that she used to rub her eye gently on my shoulder in the past few weeks before everything went south.  I don't think I realized that she was using my shoulder to help her to close her eye.  You see, when I would look at her face I wouldn't have thought to check to see that she wasn't closing her eye. I also knew when I was riding that she had trouble setting her head and moving into the bit.  She preferred to hold her head a little higher than she used to. I just attributed it to the lack of keeping her in show condition.  I figured that as long as she was happy and enjoying the ride, that I could put up with a little imperfection in her headset.  Who knew?  All of this stuff by itself is nothing and altogether it is still nothing. There is no way I could see this coming.  And who includes a skull x-ray in a vet check on a 4 year old horse.  She is 16 now and no one would have ever seen this coming.  The sad thing is that you never know if and why your horse may develop something like this.  You can only treat it (or not) if it does happen.  I am blessed to have a horse that I can ride again.  I don't know if you will.  I am told that I caught this early even though it was pretty devastating even in its early stages.   Perhaps we will still be able to ride off into the sunset yet.  I guess we are going to have to do it in a mechanical hackamore, though.  ;)

It is finally over.......

The horse ophthalmologist came and took the lavage system out of her eye and put her on five more days of ointments in her eye......  >:-(  I wasn't happy about that.  She is so sick of being messed with and I am sick of messing with her.  I want her to just be a horse again.  As of Friday, we will be officially finished with all that we have done for her.  Her ear is moving again, her lips are in the right spots, she blinks and is making tears.  It has been a very long, tiresome, and stressful journey.  I have shed more tears than I would like to admit.  I have been angry with all the treatments that are required to get through this.  I can't even tell you how I am feeling right now.  I should be happy, joyful and excited, but I am not.  I am so stressed about all that I have gone through that I don't know how to feel.  I keep waiting for something else because I am a pessimist.  I am glad that we made it through but it has been a tremendous amount of work.  I am looking forward to getting a night's sleep and getting back to a normal life as a horse owner. I will write more later because I have to get up at 4 a.m. to get ready for work and to get up the hill to give her medicine so that I can get back down the hill and to work on time.

Standing on third waiting to steal home......

I don't know who among you has gone through this "thing" with a horse and I don't know if her recovery time has been this side of miraculous but amazing things are going on with Miss Truffles.  Her ear rotation is almost 100% and her eye closes about 90%. and her abscess is healing beautifully.  My vet is so pleased.  The funniest thing happened yesterday.  When I arrived to give her the medicine, she sniffed my arm.  Sounds normal, right. But understand that she actually sniffed my arm like a dog might sniff your pant leg after you patted another dog.  It seemed so strange. I wonder if she had lost her ability to smell things in this ordeal.  If she did, she got that sense back.  I talked to my friend and she said that Truffles had done the same thing to her.  She gave her arm a very long sniff as though she had never smelled anything before.
Her sagging lower lip is back to normal and the twist in her top lip is pretty much gone. This silly horse is ready to run and kick up her heals and is being a little naughty on her walks.  I would love to turn her out with a good set of splint boots on and let her kick up her heals but she still has that lavage system in her eye.  The horsey ophthalmologist is coming out next week to see if she is making enough tears to take it out.  We are all very excited with her recovery.
Today, I am glad that we did all this to save her.  It is expensive and I am going to have to spend a long time paying off everything but I think, in the end, I will get a healthy horse out if this.

Just one of the girls...

Today we all stood around the birch trees leaning on the tractor and chatting (Truffles included).  She stood  there with us without her special face mask while we observed her in a regular setting.  She closed her eye -all the way- and turned her ear towards us as we all talked.  She swiveled her ear a bit, back and forth, while she listened for sounds around her.  It wasn't a full swivel but it was pretty close.  She thought she was just chatting and hanging out.  She was perky and relaxed and acted like she felt just fine.

I am excited that my vet will be out on Wednesday to see what he thinks.  I think he will be pleased. We sure are!!!  I thanked my friend for all that she has done.  I hope she knows that, without her help, I don't think we would have gotten this far.  I don't know how far we have to go but the progress is pretty good so far.

Somebody thinks they're special...

Today my farrier finally got the o.k. from the vet to put her shoe back on.  Not only did he put her shoe back on, but he used epoxy to fix the jagged edges where she tore her other shoe off.  He gave her lightweight aluminum shoes with little clips on the sides to help keep the shoe on this time.  He put some shiny stuff on her hoof that looks like she got a pedicure.  It really looks fantastic! So, now, we can't even live with her.  I took her out for her little evening walk and she was prancing around like a circus pony.  You have to understand how much this silly horse loves getting shoes.  It is almost human.  I think she was even looking at them in her reflection on the side of my truck.

It was so good to see her personality shine, once again.  We poke and prod her and squeeze her and squish her and it is a wonder that she doesn't just take us out.  I am thankful for her special personality.

My friend and I have probably stabbed the needles into our own flesh as many times as we have managed to get it dead center into the catheter tip as she dances around and up and down.  It is the grace of God alone that keeps us from emptying the syringe into our own beat-up hands.

So the quarter crack was inconsequential and the abscess is healing with the help of some SMZ's (medicine).  Her eye has tons of movement but she still needs the lavage and the treatments.  We would rather do that than try to muscle her down to put ointment in her eye (she won't let us do that).  My vet is pleased with her progress and I am cautiously optimistic.

This is a good thing because tomorrow is the first day of school. (I started 2 days ago but those were prep days)  The little kids will be excited to get back to school.  I would be more excited if she had completely healed before all this, but God has it and it will happen in his time.

Blessings

Today there was some good news.  My vet really liked how her eye was coming along. We still have the stitches in there and he will let me know when we will take them out.  I don't want to rush.  The quarter crack isn't as bad as I thought and is just superficial.  I am glad about that.

I started back to school today, just teacher work days without the students yet and I am getting up at 3:30 am to make sure that I can get ready for work, get up to the ranch, medicate and love on my horse, get back down the hill, and make it to work on time.  It might be a little rough but I feel that it is worth it in the long run.

I don't know what I would do if it weren't for my friend who has been helping me so much with her medication.  I really believe that her eye would not be as healthy as it is without her constant attention when I am at work.  She takes the late night shift which is more than I could even expect of anyone.  She is such a BLESSING to me.

Still sitting and waiting

Today we noticed that there was a lot more movement in her eye.  I am not sure if she can close it all the way yet so I'm not going to get too excited and have the stitches removed only to have to put them back in again.  So we will just play along for a while.

Her incision from her surgery has an abscess that opened today.  That is probably o.k.  We are just packing warm compresses under  her halter and helping it to drain away all the gunk.

It is Sunday and I don't want to have the vet rush out so we are going to play this one by ear.

(as my sis pointed out to me, it is Saturday not Sunday.  Every day blends into the other.  I am lucky I remember my own name......)

I also noticed a huge quarter crack in her hoof where she lost her shoe.  I guess the farrier will be coming out to fix that, too.............

Are we there, yet?

For the last few days we have been injecting her medicines into the lavage catheter and she seems to be feeling a little better.  She still hates getting the medicine and gives us a lot of grief about it but we just keep on doing it.  She seems to be hanging in there.  There are no significant changes in either direction so I am hopeful that we are on the right road here.  Her eye looks ok, everything is still droopy, but she eats, drinks, and poops like she should.  She enjoys her walks and all the attention, except for the treatments.  We are on the long boring road right now asking, "Are we there, yet? Are we there, yet?"

The glass is half full....

Today the horsey ophthalmologist came out to sew her eyelid shut again.  This time he only closed it about two-thirds of the way leaving her a little peek-hole near the tear duct part of her eye.  She is making a tiny bit of tears but not enough to help her corneal ulcers heal.  The big one that is left is actually healing no matter how bad I think it looks.  We switched her to a more tolerable pain killer that won't have such an impact on her kidneys.  I would hate to heal everything and destroy her kidneys with pain meds and then have to put her to sleep.

I have to have a new attitude about my horse now and it is to think about her only as a horse with an eye problem not this incredible problem that I STILL cannot spell without looking it up.  I really don't want to know either. I just want it to be a thing of the past that other people's horses go through, not mine.

So, even though her ear doesn't move, her lip is a little crooked and droopy and her eye is sewn shut, I will look at the glass as half full.  She will never be the halter mare that she once was and I will never breed her (passing on this gene).  I am going to love her with all of her faults and quirks.  Please keep praying that she leaves her lavage appliance alone so that we can get this healed.