Again.............

Well, she tore out the IV catheter in her lavage system AGAIN.  I had to have my vet out AGAIN to fix it.   I am probably going to have to have her eye sewn shut AGAIN because her blink reflex is not good enough to keep her eye moistened.  I don't think she is making any tears yet. Her eye closes about half way and the top part is getting moistened by all the medicines that we are shoving into the system.  The bottom part of her eye is still too dry and she can't close it enough to let the medicines cover it.

I think I owe every vet in the area a ton of money.  I am a teacher and I don't make a lot of money.   There are going to have to be some tough decisions made in the next month.  I have, honestly, spent nearly $10,000 on this so far.  I say spent but it is more like "charged" and I am making payments to the vets that will take them.

It may come down to just giving up and having her eye removed.  This one large expense may be cheaper than trying to save her eye.  We could go through all this and still have to remove it anyway.

I am so tired. This is so stressful.  I don't know what to do and no one can advise me because no one knows.  Her eye could be better in a day, a week, six months, a year, or never.  Be prepared for this if you have to go through this.    Her eye is in a terrible amount of pain and we are doing EVERYTHING that we can to get through this.

If anyone has dealt with this, I could sure use some help. Please tell me your experience with all of this.  I am holding onto my last thread of hope.

Two steps forward, one step back

We had to put the lavage system back into her eye.  Even thought her eye looks terrible, it is healing.  She had such bad corneal ulcers and we had such a hard time getting the medicine into her eye that this is just going to be easier.  The wonderful horse ophthalmologist came out and took very good care of us.  He was able to get everything all taken care of and reassured us.  Now we have all the little medicines in a row and can get the stuff in her eye through the little line instead of trying to cram a metal tube of ointment into her very sore eye.  She is still eating like a pig and drinking well.  Her ear is a little bit off and her bottom lip is still a little bit droopy but she looks good and is gaining the weight back from her hospital stay.  They fed her but she wasn't able to eat very well so she lost some weight.

When I get to the end of this blog, someday,  I will try to recount some of the things that now lead me to know that she was showing me signs for quite a while.  She did little things that were not really "stand-outs"  but now mean something.  I will hold back on these signs and such until the end because I don't want you to think that just because you horse does one of these little things, it isn't necessarily a definite sign that something is wrong.

Good night for now.

Prayer and time

She hates getting medicine in her eye.  The vet says her eye looks good but I think it looks terrible. It is red and angry and cloudy all at the same time.  He is coming out tomorrow to see if the ointments are doing their jobs.  If not, the lavage goes back into her eye.  The horsey eye doctor will come to the ranch to put it back in so she won't have to go back into the trailer and back to San Luis Rey hospital.  My sister has me on every prayer list that she can come up with.  I need those prayers.  Please join her and give us a shout out to God for some miracle healing here.

Sometimes disasters are a blessing in disguise

My real vet came to see Truffles today.  He was there to either repair or remove the lavage system.  When he took off her mask, he noticed that her eyelid was moving!  That was a great thing!  That means she could probably blink now.  It was a true blessing from God!  I was not holding much hope in a speedy recovery as I am an eternal pessimist. He gave her a "la la" shot and had to give her another because she was still too wiggly for removal of stitches in the eye.  Here is a lovely shot of her using the wall to hold herself up.

Too many happy shots

My vet removed the stitches in her eye and she actually blinked! Not once, but twice. Then he took the staples out of the underside of her head and the incision was clean and very nicely healed.  When she finally "came to," I gave her her favorite mush to eat and a lovely warm-water bath.  See how much better her lip looks in this shot.  It still tweaks a little from time to time.

much perkier now

See my lip?  It's getting better

 Now we have to wait to see if she is making any tears to lubricate her eye. Right now we are having to put ointments and such into her eyes on the same regiment as before.  I hope she makes tears soon because she really hates  being messed with.

So as upset as I was over the torn tubing, yesterday.  It all worked out for the better because we got to remove the whole thing from her eye.  Funny thing was the 2 corneal ulcers were healing nicely but the lavage system was causing another.  This may not be the case for all lavage systems, just her situation.

I am gaining some hope that we will conquer this problem and that I will get my riding horse back.  I think it will take a while before I can ride her. My vet will tell me when he thinks it is safe to do so and I will ask for assurance that this thing is solved and that nothing will "grow back" or anything like that.

Add another log to the fire, we're gonna be here a while

This evening she decided to break the tubing for her lavage system in her eye.    It just keeps getting piled deeper, doesn't it.  I am waiting for the horsey ophthalmologist to call back to tell me how to tell my vet how to fix it.  I am not sure if it is worth fixing or not.  I have a ton of questions about this.   It is in place so that we can treat the corneal ulcers in her eye from not being able to blink for a time as this condition began to rear its ugly head.  So have these ulcers healed sufficiently enough in the 2+ weeks that the system has been in her eye to warrant taking out the lavage system.  I can see keeping her eye sewn shut to help until she can blink again but I don't know about the eye system. We are running the risk that she could damage her eye with it in. Especially if she keeps breaking it.  I hope someone has some answers for me by morning.  I won't sleep because I will let this bother me all night.

...an even sunnier evening

I just wanted to add in a little bit more from this evening.  I went to the ranch to give her the 6:00 p.m. medicine and I noticed that her lip was a little straighter.  Her ear is still a little frozen and that bottom lip hangs a bit on the side but I will take any small improvement.  I am not saying that I won't go back in the morning to find her lip crooked again but I will take this small blessing for this evening and deal with the troubles of tomorrow when and if they come.

A sunnier day

Truffles was a little perkier today.  She still requires medicine to be injected into the lavage system in her eye. We have to do this 4 times a day... every 6 hours.  It is a blessing that I have a wonderful friend who is helping me and I am still on summer break. I don't know what I will do when school starts... :(  I don't want to think about that now.
Truffles tried to trot along on our walk this morning.  I thought that was great. Her face is still droopy but she is able to eat her alfalfa and her mush that we make from Integrity Senior Horse food. She likes it very much, or should I say "very mush!"
My regular vet will be back by the end of the week so I can't wait to ask him about all this eye medicine and how long we will have to squirt it into the system.  I think the medicine is for the corneal ulcers and I don't know how long those take to heal.  I know her eye will stay sewn such until she can get her blink back. I wonder if her eye will stay moistened without having the lavage system in there.  I will have to wait to answer that question.
In my 40 years of owning horses, I have never heard of such a thing as she is going through (I still can't pronounce it or spell it without looking) and neither have my friends.
This is the reason I am journaling this long process.  If you must endure this I hope that this blog will give you help and comfort. I don't know how long this is going to take but I expect ups and downs and a very lengthy blog. If you are reading this and have had to deal with this, I would love to hear from you.